


Badass Babysitter

by No_Day_But_Today



Series: Single Parent AUs [7]
Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Harley Is A Great Babysitter, Single Parent AU, pure fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 20:28:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14776715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/No_Day_But_Today/pseuds/No_Day_But_Today
Summary: Prompt: I asked you to babysit one time and now my child keeps asking when you will spend time with them again-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Floyd knew he was fucked. Massively, undeniably fucked. I mean, what is a hitman supposed to do when his ex-wife up and leaves the country for a week - unexpectedly leaving his daughter with him – when he’s supposed to be going on a scouting mission for Waller?





	Badass Babysitter

Floyd knew he was fucked. Massively, undeniably fucked. I mean, what is a hitman supposed to do when his ex-wife up and leaves the country for a week - unexpectedly leaving his daughter with him – when he’s supposed to be going on a scouting mission for Waller? He’s been in prison for the last few years, and, besides, he was a pretty private man before that too. He didn’t know anyone who could watch Zoe. And it’s not like the U.S. Government supplies childcare to criminals – even criminals on their payroll. His only options were to try to get one of the team to watch her. Oh man, this is not going to go well.

His first thought was Flag and June. They seemed pretty normal – well as normal as you can get with this group – and they seemed like the best fit to watch Zoe. June was a scientist, and Zoe really seemed to love science – maybe they would get along. Plus, Flag would never shut up about wanting to start a family so this would be good practice. Unfortunately, he and June were in Montana for an archeology conference. So, they were a no.

His next though was of Tatsu. She seemed… competent enough. He sure as hell knew Zoe would be safe with her – her sword was enough to scare off grown men. Unfortunately, there’s a bit of a language barrier – and Tatsu was back in Japan. So that’s a double no.

Digger? No, that seems like an awful idea. He didn’t want to come home to find his daughter pulled into some elaborate smuggling scheme. He also really didn’t want Digger in his house – the guy would probably trash the place.

Croc? No. While not a bad guy, he’d probably scare the hell out of Zoe.

There was no way in hell he was leaving his daughter with Waller.

So that left… Harley. Great. While not ideal, she was his last option – he was screwed if she said no. He drummed his finger on the table impatiently as he waited for her to pick up – the drumming falling in line with the ringing of the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Harley. I need to ask a favor of you.”  
“Sure, big guy, whadaya need?”

“I need someone to watch my daughter, Zoe. Her mom dropped her off with no warning and I have orders from Waller to go on a scouting mission. Is there any way you could – “ He was abruptly cut off by Harley’s excited shrieking.

“Of course! We could have a girl’s night! I haven’t had one a those in forever! When do ya need me over? Right now? I can totally come right now!” Floyd chuckled to himself, of course Harley would be this excited to babysit. He tried to calm her down enough to get out the details.

“Harley, Harley, calm down. I don’t need you for a couple more hours.” He couldn’t help but chuckle again when she sounded disappointed.

“Awwww! Well what time? And do ya want me to come over to your place or do ya want to bring her to mine? I gotta know if I should pack up some movies or somethin’.”

“My place at 3. Zoe’ll fall asleep before I get back and this way I won’t have to wake her up.”

“Cool! I’ll pack some movies and stuff so we can have a real girls night!” And with that, Harley hung up. Floyd couldn’t help but laugh. His mood turned sour, however, when he realized he had to tell Zoe he had to leave. He sighed and rubbed his face before heading back into the living room to talk to Zoe.

“Hey, Zoe. I gotta talk to you.”

“Yeah, Daddy?”

“Listen, your mom didn’t tell me about her leaving, so I didn’t know you were gonna be here today. Otherwise I wouldn’t be doing this, but I gotta leave tonight. I’ve got orders from my boss, so there’s no getting out of this one.”

“Are you gonna go kill people?”

“Well… hopefully not on this mission, but who knows how it’ll go…” He mentally slapped himself for getting off topic. “But that’s not what this is about, what it’s about is that I had to get somebody to come stay with you.” He paused, not really sure how to go about explaining to his daughter that he got an infamous murderer to babysit her.

“She’s, well… she’s an interesting person. She, uh, she’s a co-worker, but at the last second, she was the only person I could find.” Zoe smiled at him, which eased his fears slightly.

“It’s okay, Daddy. I’m sure she’ll be really nice.”  
“Yeah. Yeah, I hope so.”

* * *

 

What felt like an eternity later, his doorbell rang. He breathed a sigh of relief and went to open the door. He was greeted by Harley, smiling – in pink pajamas – holding a duffel bag.

“I brought a bunch of stuff for us to do! I brought nail polish, and board games, and movies, and – what? Why are you laughing?“

“It’s just funny to see someone so excited to babysit.”

“Hey! This is my first girl’s night in a long time, okay?”

“Okay, okay, I get ya.” Harley came inside, and the two made their way to the kitchen where Zoe was finishing up some homework. “Harley, this is my daughter Zoe. Zoe, this is Harley, she’s going to watch you tonight while I’m gone.”

“Nice ta meet ya, Zoe!”

“Nice to meet you, too.” Floyd turned to Zoe to remind her of the rules.

“Okay Zoe, it’s not a school night so you can stay up late – But, you gotta get your homework done first, okay?”

“Yeah Daddy, I know. Homework first, then I can watch TV and stuff.” Floyd started grabbing his gear, turning towards Harley.

“There’s some money on the counter for dinner, you guys can order pizza or takeout or something. I gotta go – Zoe, you be good! And Harley, no shenanigans!”

“Ah come on, you know I won’t do anything crazy! It’s a girls night, we’re gonna do movies and nails and stuff.” Floyd chuckled.

“Alright, I’ll be back late tonight,” He hugged Zoe and pressed a kiss to her head. “Love you sweetheart.”

“Love you too, Daddy!”

“Bye! Don’t worry! We’ll have lots of fun!”

* * *

 

Floyd crept back into the apartment, closing the door quietly behind him. He set his duffel bag down by the door and made his way into the kitchen. He was getting some leftovers out of the fridge when he noticed the TV was still on.

He walked into the living room only to find Zoe and Harley cuddled up, asleep, on the couch. Leftover takeout, various hair and nail stuff, and movies were strewn about. He laughed to himself, for two girls left alone for about 10 hours, they sure made quite a mess.

He scooped Zoe up off the couch and tucked her into bed before throwing a blanket on Harley and turning off the TV, turning in for the night himself.

* * *

 

A few week later – when he was actually supposed to have her – Zoe asked a question that he never expected to hear.

“Daddy?”

“Yeah baby girl?”

“When are you going to go on another mission?”

“Uhm… I don’t know. Why? What’s going on?”

“I just wanted to know when Harley was gonna come over again…”

“Oh, uh, I don’t know honey. Did you two have fun last time?” Zoe lit up.

“Yeah! We watched a bunch of fun movies like Legally Blonde and Mean Girls, and she helped paint my nails, and she did my hair, and we ate a bunch of takeout!”

“That’s good, I’m glad you had fun!”

“Next time you go out on another mission, can Harley come stay with me again?”

“Uh, I’ll have to ask her, but sure.” Zoe jumped up and hugged him.

“Thanks Daddy!”

* * *

 

Harley was painting her toenails when her phone rang. She grabbed it and balanced it on her shoulder so she could talk and paint at the same time.

“Yello?”

“Hey, Harley, this is Floyd.”

“Hey buddy! What’s up? Need me to babysit again? I can be over in like 20 minutes, I just gotta let my nail polish dry! I-”

“Woah, slow down! I don’t need a sitter tonight.”

“Oh, then what’s up?”

“Zoe asked about you today, she really liked having you over.”

“Awwwwww! She is so sweet! We had lots of fun!”

“Yeah, she wanted to see if you’d come babysit her again, but I don’t have any missions lined up when I have her.”

“Aw dang!”

“Yeah, so I was gonna see if you’d come over on Friday? She’d be real excited to have another girls night”

“Of course! We could make it a weekly thing! It’ll be fun!”

“Sure, I’m sure she’d like that a lot.”


End file.
